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by
Christopher Vale ©2008 |
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In
France
there is the PLM literally railroading
Parisians to the Mediterranean
at high speed. In America there was HLM,
literarily
railroading apolitical prose into the world’s literature in
high dudgeon. I find my race and religion targets for his
artiliterary broadsides; but I cannot be aroused to rancor.
He’s too funny.
HEATHEN DAYS
Henry
Louis Mencken admits in Heathen Days that he doesn’t know
why his
father sent him to Baltimore Polytechnic Institute.
He
enjoyed an interest in making things in boyhood; but he wasn’t good at
it. Nevertheless he entered in 1892 from a private school,
which had prepared him scholastically for everything but
algebra. Thus he started out in the lowest class.
Math polygogue Uhrbrock, an algebra fanatic, offered to tutor Henry to
advance him to a higher class. The cramming worked.
Henry
writes “The next day I was promoted, and ever since that time I have
been a year ahead of schedule on my progress through life down to the
present glorious day.”
This
beginning was under the principality of Lieutenant John W. Saville,
Jr., a civil war naval veteran. He is described as “—a tall,
slim, elegant fellow wearing the mustache and goatee” of the famous Admiral Schley. Lt.
Saville taught steam engineering, poorly
according to Mencken; so he learned it from the machine shop
instructor. Besides being very popular with his boys his good
looks and naval panache attracted very handsome female
visitors. His prestige did not suffer in boy’s eyes.
SHOPS AND
CLASSES
Henry
enjoyed woodworking and forge because he viewed both as a kind of
exciting and dangerous play. For most technology he had no
interest. However he did like chemistry and reading and
writing; both stimulated by boyhood gifts - a camera and a model
printing press. I can relate to that; because I received a Porter Chemistry Set
once. It was most disappointing because
the experiments changed blue liquid to pink, pink to blue, and both to
clear in many combinations. I wanted to know how to make
bombs; but there wasn’t a hint or clue from Porter.
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Although
Henry was fascinated with the chemistry of photography the desire for
writing overwhelmed it. He was partly nudged that way because
“—the brother who taught chemistry knew very little about it and
appeared to have only mild interest in it.” He claims the
school had bad teachers of literature but surprisingly goes on to
describe them as enthusiasts. This unnamed duo took in hand
his writing tutelage. They found him well read from his
father’s library; but he had missed out on some books; and they made
sure he found them. So he camped out at the Pratt
Library
catching up with English literature.
Some of the tales of geometry and trigonometry class are reminiscent of
blackboard sessions with Lustbader.
Interestingly, anatomy
and physiology were offered; but the boys were disappointed by the
priggish blanking out of the pudendum.
OSHA
In
my Gosha
note I remarked on the dearth of accidents.
Mencken witnessed a bad one in the woodshop- a boy’s fingers were cut
off in a planer. Poly was next door to the City Hospital then
and the victim was rushed across the alley where hemorrhaging was
effectively stopped; but the fingers could not be reattached.
Henry burned himself on a chunk of iron in the forge; and expressed
wonder that he avoided injury in chem lab.
POLY FINALS
Our
Armageddon was boiler test; in his day it was the fabricating of a
major piece of machinery. His class was supplied drawings
from the Naval Academy of a 100 horsepower, triple expansion steam
engine- a serious chunk of machinery. They built it from
purchased castings on which they had to do the machining and
assembly. He indicates that the class successfully completed
it with major coaching from the machine shop instructor; still a noble
accomplishment for a gang of high school boys.
Mencken learned and lived by skills that were not necessarily the forte
of Baltimore Polytechnic. But the technical
classes - steam engineering, chemistry, surveying, etc. (and
nowadays computer science, aeronautics, etc.) are only part of the
actual strength of the school. There’s something else as well.
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Christopher
Vale - Poly '56
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